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Somehow You have reached the "I Love Steve Bacic" Club!
Are you sure you have clearance? And this is where you intended to go?
Read the information about this so far clandestine organisation - which may yet remain clandestine.
03 July 2009
In the beginning .....
In the middle of February 2004, I discovered this secret organisation - Jackewing98 revealed his identity as President of the "I Love Steve Bacic" Club on a messageboard. I have so far been unable to glean any details from him about how he attained such a prestigious job, much less the needed qualifications for the job.
I have myself applied for the position of Vice President. As qualifications, I listed the watching of many Miami VICE episodes and as much Steve Bacic as possible and the president gracefully approved my application.
Until another applicant steps forward, I will also be acting secretary.
The Members .....
My first job was to compile a member list:
#00 aka The Real Steve
Honorary Canadian member.
#01 Jackewing98 - President: - who as the sincerest form of flattery claims to be named Steve. This was probably the qualification that made him president of the ILSB Club.
Vile rumors were spread that his real name was Bob, but that's all they were - vile rumors!
Vice President (and secretary and Director of ILSB Research, Scandinavian/Wordwide Division)
#03 Shado (Director of ILSB Research, North American Division)
#04 Big D
(Occasional Assistant to Director of ILSB Research, and Supreme Ninja of ILSB Asian Unit)
#05 Steenep (Director of Aviations and Maintenance)
#06 Ses (Partially Covert Ops Section Director)
- see section 1 for description of successful operation)
#07 Denny (Semi-Voluntary Director of German Black Ops)
- don't worry - she's not really dangerous - she just paints stuff black
#08 Mesh (Director of Intercontinental Relations)
#09 Morden, Jedi Master Chef (Director of Catering and Intergalactic Defense)
#10 Claris - beneficiary of the first documented Bacic kindness, see section 2
#11 Annie (Director of the Hungarian Steve Bacic Fanclub)
#12 Adele T
(Director of the Scottish Steve Bacic Fanclub - including both High- & Low-lands)
#14 Julie, SB.D.
(Semi-resident "Mathemagician" and Toyster - Conjuring and researching within her Ivory Tower, and descending when necessary to impart wisdom, knowledge, and refinement.)
- meaning she doctors our numbers and minds our Pi's and Q's and brings toys ....
(Archivist and Artistic Director) - she has devised disguises for Steve and a couple of friends - they probably work best in a rural setting. Sorry - no pictures as that would render the disguises useless.
(Director of the Nikkei Division) and one of our island experts.
(Director of Party Organising AND Canary Island Expert) People still talk dreamily about the great ILSBCCP (ILSB Club Christmas Party) last year - can she surpass herself? We think so.
(Official First Pencil Watcher ) - those pesky pencils just go everywhere unless they're watched constantly! Whee, Jeanette is the first ILSB member to have an assistant! She will now be able to DELEGATE!
(Chronicler of ILSB - the Expurgated Version)
(Master Chronicler of Alternate Reality History AND Commander of the I.L.S.B. Special Forces, Southern U.S. Division) - likes people to check out her chronicles - which people usually are more than eager to.
(Director of Hippocratic Documentation)
Two people of the same first name joined at the same time, so I got confused and merged them. They have now been un-merged - hence the 21 and a half member number.
- in an alternate reality known as EvilJr the Drool Bucket Guru. Documentation on the Bucket guru qualifications will have to be presented before seminars in Bucket will be scheduled.
(Director of the English Steve Bacic fanclub) - another one of our legendary members. She has yet to master the official greeting, but we are hopeful and don't hold it against her.
(Director of ILSB Adventures and Escapades)
(Director of Directions) With him along, you'll never get lost.
#25 The Posting Madonna
(Under Secretary of the Chicago Chapter of the ILSB Club)
Need anything in Chicago, she's your man.
(Director of ILSB Covert Sign Language Ops)
A valuable asset to the ILSB team because said subject is able to work incognito whilst remaining in full view, because nobody but her understands what the heck she is saying. Not to be confused with the hand gestures used by various sports managers and coaches.
#27 Alaska (German Director of Electronic Decorative Imagery - GDEDI for short)
Your walls need never be bare as long as the GDEDI is here!
(Director of Maya conventions)
Maybe the Incas are next?
(ILSB Director of Drugs and Potions )
Try asking her for potion number 9 and see what happens ......
(ILSB Foreign Language Expert or Linguist )
You should hear her colorful language - we are all looking forward to her seminar!
(Director of Technology Investigations)
(Director of Special Techniques Engaging Various Eyebrows Bring Ample Cigars In Case)
(Director of Sizzling Hot Men)
(Official Insurance Filer).
#38 Lisa Yvette
(Expert & Chronicler of Historical Western Mating Rituals)
(Director of Interplanetary Gating).
(Director of Jello Productions, A.C.B & B.B.S Certified).
(Andromeda Coffee Brewer and Bone Blade Sharpener)
#42 Ils'b the Traveling Sock Monkey
(Director of House & Home Improvement)
She's a wizard with a powerdrill!
(ILSB Director of Mythology and Native American Rituals)
And that's Greek mythology to you!
(Commander of ILSB Saskatchewan Division)
And that includes a couple of Sasquatch - they do great working undercover in zoos.
(Commander of ILSB California Division)
We are hoping to talk her into commanding multiplication too ...
(Mistress of Subliminal Messaging)
And that explains why we all went out and bought pink shoes after watching her vacation movie.
(Official ILSB Forecaster )
Better check with her before planning a picnic!
(Official ILSB Wallpaper Facilitator)
As far as I know, she doesn't do houses .......
(Message Board Maven and former Empress of Andromeda Fans Realm)
Wheeee! Our first maven!
(Official ILSB Art Appreciator)
And art creator!
#54 Zenny Valentine
(ILSB Highly Caffeinated Film Director)
(ILSB director of online gaming)
How did she manage to get a cushy desk job?
(Official ILSB Bartender)
No more drinks for the tan guy with the beard and earring!
#57 L. C. Brotherton
(Commander of the Midwestern Mary Kay Commandoes, Traffic Director for The Long and Winding Road)
Definitely one of our busier members.
(ILSB Junior Liaison)
A member we expect great things from in the future!
(ILSB Spanish Translator and Dream Interpreter)
Extremely handy if you dream in Spanish and want to know what you said!
(ILSB Gym Monitor)
Worldwide - but Texas in particular
(ILSB Authorized Tale Spinner)
We are all caught in her web!
(ILSB Deep Undercover Operative)
Reporting from deep, deep undercover in Vancouver......
(Keeper of the Wardrobe and Leader of the Camel Caravan)
We miss the wardrobe when she's off caravaning!
(ILSB Animal Health Monitor)
Calming beasts, wild and tame .....
(ILSB Director of R.H.A.D.E.S.(Regional Highguard Ammunitions, Demolitions and Explosives-South))
Anybody want to be Director of R.H.A.D.E.N., R.H.A.D.E.W. or R.H.A.D.E.E.?
(ILSB Diligent Reader of Posts)
(Master of Stables & Kennels and Mistress of Poetry)
Barking poetic whinnies?
(ILSB Authorized Empath)
Don't try to fool her!
(First Triumvir of ILSB Hydration and Water Sports & Games)
Sounds like she's an Aquarious ....
(ILSB Director of Humane Restraints)
She decides when you leave .....
#71 Nietzschean Lady
(ILSB Director of the Romanian Office of Cybernetics)
Yep - we have our fingers in many pies .....
(ILSB basic member)
And where would we be without the Bacic basics?
(ILSB Asker of Random Questions)
Sometimes a questionable behavior is a good thing ....
(ILSB Big Game Huntress of the Southwestern United States)
So all small foxes should be safe.
(Commander of the ILSB Alberta division and director of Regional Highguard Ammunitions, Demolitions and/or Explosives-West aka R.H.A.D.E.W).)
I think the title says it all ......
(ILSB Romanian Bacic Cultural Ambassador)
Yes - Madalin a GUY!
(ILSB Special Ambassador to the Motor City Underground)
Anything happening down below?
(ILSB Bacic Member)
We need indians too.
#79 Lone Star
(ILSB Roving Reporter )
So what's new?
(ILSB Funds Advisor)
Don't go for broke!
(ILSB Oddity Researcher)
Laughing at the stars ......
(Spanish caretaker of Gaherisí Red Shirt and Bone Blades)
And everyone knows Spanish Care is the best!
(ILSB Basic Member)
(ILSB Basic Member)
(ILSB Basic Member)
(ILSB Authorized Feline Nurturer)
A purr is a purr in any language!
#87 Gatefan810 (ILSB Basic Member)
She's got all the gates covered!
#88 Lady Inkslinger
(Chief McGuffin-Polisher to His Royal Canadian Highness of Fineness)
She polishes a MEAN McGuffin!
(ILSB Westcoast Eye in the Sky)
She can see farther than Seattle!
(Official ILSB Bacic Sculptor)
Sloping brow and all ....... the sculpture I mean!
(High Priestess in the Temple of Camulus)
Open to worship 24/7 .....
(ILSB Keyperson of the British Isles)
And don't Cross this Sahara Born webspinner!
(The Swedish Caretaker of the Official RAWR)
Keeping it nice and cool and well fed.
(ILSB Sleeping Hallucination Tester )
Or is it real?
#95 First Officer
(ILSB Director of Security)
Now we're more secure than the Queen!
(ILSB Director of Crowd Control)
Believe me - you DON'T want to hear her howl!
#97 Dr. E
(Head of National Unintelligence - and ILSB member)
Because stupid people need to know stuff too.
#99 Gypsy Artist
(Mistress of Mojo)
Random Snippets Scribe
(ILSB Wardrobe Caretaker)
(Official Caretaker of the most expensive T-shirt on the planet)
And it was used even.
(Mistress of Terazed)
That's a BIG job!
(ILSB Official Belt Buckle Spinner)
THAT's a small job!
(ILSB Masseur, German Division)
Leave all your tensions behind.
(ILSB Recruitment, Southern CA Division)
(ILSB Master Chef)
I wonder how her onion rings are ......
(ILSB Director of the Eyewear Section)
Sunglasses included - which keeps her fairly busy.
#108 Downunder Duchess
(ILSB Watcher from Afar and Mistress of Great Hugs)
Maybe you should have a talk with #107 - I think she does binoculars too ...
Try saying that name fast 5 times!
(Rhade's Personal Bodyguard - Lover of all things Bacic)
That second part - that's a given :-)
#111 Nicky Gabriel
(The Supreme Commander of the ILSB Polish High Guard Lancers' Fleet)
But where does she park ?
(ILSB Leseratte and SciFi Researcher)
Her favorite book might be The Stainless Steel Rat ...
#113 Dragon Lady
(Weapons Specialist - Certified to keep those force lances charged andready for action!)
Sounds like Captain Hunt's friend ...
(Issuer of Challenges and Commander of the ILSB Club Southeastern US Division)
Does that include Florida?
Sometimes we can persuade her to make coffee ...
#116 Beate of Terazed
(Private Assistant of Admiral Telemachus Rhade)
But Steve is realer ;-)
(Official ILSB Golf Coach)
She specialises in mountain golf.
(Official ILSB Director of Koala Cuddling)
The ILSB Club is a full service organisation! Name it, we do it!
(Official ILSB Rhadical Harpy)
Or possibly Harperish Rhady ...
(Wanderer between alternate realities and restless searcher for the good in people)
And an extremely patient person ;-)
Still thinking about a title ...
Another patient person - definitely not a quitter ;-)
Chief of Bacic Operations for Uk and Italy
Bacic fans are definitely not quitters ;-)
Meesh (partially covert ops)
Matti (partially covert ops)
Since this is a clandestine organisation, the names above are not the real names of the members, but the secretary knows.
If you would like to be listed, please send an email to the secretary, care of the webmaster.
It is recommended that all members practice raising one eyebrow (either will do), as one raised eyebrow is the proper return to the greeting the organisation has adopted, the Nietzschean salute.
If anyone has problems raising one eyebrow, an acceptable substitute will be the lowering of an eyebrow.
The combination of greeting and response can be studied in their most sublime form below. Click to see it in its entirety - hand position included.
Purpose of the ILSB Foundation - aka "The ILSB Club"
Keep subject in cigars.
Ensure that subject regularly appears in/on diverse media - like small and big screens - to delight the members. Including print.
There are rumors **of a German print thing in the near future (autumn 2004). Might even be a cover or a center spread - OR if we spend our bribes optimally, BOTH! FACT! German TVHighlights magazine used a season five picture of Steve Bacic as Telemachus Rhade as their September centerfold - YAY!
FACT: November issue contains an interview with Steve, done in August in London. Kudos to CJ Kaller for a great interview. The centerfold is the season five crew of the Andromeda.
Looking forward to the Ledford interview in December!
Pens (or keyboards) may be used to achieve these goals. Current objectives are X3 and Stargate SG-1 ** and Atlantis. Print mission is to make UK magazine bring a profile or interwiew with Steve.
Other projects may be to document the history of SG-2, the team bravely led by Colonel/Major/Sergeant Coburn.
Yet other projects may be forthcoming as resources permit.
We cannot thank enough the diligent team who brought this about, and we cannot reveal their names without endangering future missions, but the names will remain in our hearts forever and their accomplishment is one all teams will wish to emulate.
Partially Covert Ops Section Chief, Ses, determined that an important document for the club would be the name board of subject Steve Bacic, possibly located in a signing room at the Thistle Hotel, London, England. Partially Covert Ops agents Mees and Matti were selected to secure the item.
Details of the operation cannot be revealed for many years yet, but suffice it to say, that noone was hurt and said item is now in the safekeeping of the Partially Covert Ops Section Chief and the mission can therefore be considered a success. The two operatives have received commendations for a job well done.
It is our profound hope that at some future time, we will be able to show a facsimile of the liberated document.
Section 1b(One Bee)
The Future is NOW! The Photo Processing Department and the Documentation Section have now released a photo of the document - see below.
ILSB member Claris was being forced to stand in a queue, thereby endangering her fluid balance.
Upon bemoaning said imbalance within the hearing of subject Steve Bacic, she was promptly the recipient of one slightly used can of Red Bull (a semi alcoholic beverage) from said subject's hand, whereupon the endangered fluid balance was restored to equilibrium.
NB! Further research has shown that the Red Bull mentioned above is not a semi alcoholic beverage but an energy soft drink! See exhibit E above. NB - NOT the actual can received by Claris.
ILSB member Claris has been kind enough to send us a photo of the ACTUAL can of Red Bull - notice the subtle differences from exhibit E - differences that are much more obvious when you hold the can, Claris assures us.
The images below have been supplied by our very effective surveillance section, and is strictly intended for new members to study and commit to memory so that said subject can always be identified without any doubt!
We realise that a frontal face image is needed too - the surveillance section is working overtime to procure such an image.
Height: 6'1" (186 centimeters)
Weight: 195 lbs (88.64 kilos)
Eyes: Moody hazel - though some prosaic soul might just say brown ...
Hair: Dark Brown - but may appear black in certain lights.
Special features: Dimpled chin, currently hidden by beard; no known tattoos***
Last known location: London, Heathrow Edwardian Radisson Hotel
Current location: Undetermined, but believed to be in the vicinity of Vancouver, Canada
Future location: Atlanta, GA - for a short visit only.
Only the most rudimentary information exists, but observers have reported that he has trouble resisting a challenge.
Subject seems NOT to be partial to Smirnoff Black Ice judging by facial expression observed by ILSB Club members. Now beer is quite another thing - it's rumored that subject always carries a six-pack ON HIS PERSON!
*** Possible future mission
Several members have heroically volunteered for the perilous mission of verifying subject's tattoo-less state. No actual mission has been scheduled due to dissent among the members as to who should go on the mission.
Another possible feature to be verified on the above mentioned mission would be whether subject waxes. I repeat again - there is no need for more volunteers for this mission!
Currently, securing the most rare weapon of a Commonwealth officer, the Forcelance, remains very high on our list of extremely difficult missions - yea - some even consider it a "Mission Impossible". Operatives will probably need to receive special training before even thinking about trying to secure a forcelance.
A recent Japanese fan of Steve's only realised when she returned home to Nagoya whom she had caught on her vacation photos from Copenhagen, Denmark. Of course she at once placed a copy of the picture in the ILSB archive, and we are proud to be able to show the first of - hopefully many - pictures of Steve from his secret travels all over the world.
After extensive research (thanks to everyone in the research dept. who spent hours chasing down rumors and facts and baffled vacationers) we were able to secure a few more pictures.
#14 somehow got her fingers on the latests pictures of Steve, visiting important places in the US plus one really abroad temple.
Guarding the mermaid's head.
In his fine new red sombrero.
Wishing he had brought his new sombrero - pigeons overhead!
Clever #22 caught Steve relaxing in London
Notice the Jesus statue on top of the mountain in the background!
Waiting for the next boat.
Pretending to be Nietzschean - impervious to the cold!
Why get your shirt wet?
Am I in good enough shape to be an astronaut?
Good thing those rocket engines didn't blow my pants off too!
A little too hot!
Other famous ILSB
It has come to our attention that there are other famous ILSB in the world - none of course as close to our hearts like THIS ILSB Club. As far as I have been able to ascertain, none of these are covert organisations.
In the interest of diversity - here are the most interesting ones - particularly the first one :-)
Institute for Lightweight Design and Structural Biomechanics in Vienna, Austria.
Gerhard Schneider seems to fit right into OUR ILSB Club - seeing as he's "Head of the ILSB Department of Homeland Security".
Send an email to with ILSB in the subject field, telling me the name you want to be listed under and the title you would like.